I hate to say it

I hate to say it

I hate to say it, really I do but I’m somewhat spoilt by Ubuntu IRC channels and conversations that take place in there. I know in this channels/environments conversations are for the most part all on Ubuntu topic or drift into social chatter which is nice to see.

What I don’t have to deal with is back handed remarks about women like I do in other channels. It’s still frustrating to see some men make these comments about women on IRC as you know full well they won’t make them in person or possibly around their wives, gfs, daughters etc but will in a text based environment.  It can get you down as you don’t want to be seen as the nagging person in the corner going *ahem* really did you really need to say that! In some cases I’m either the only woman in the channel or one of very few of them in a channel, equally I don’t like having to ask people to refrain from making comments, it makes me out to be the bad person!

It is really nice and encouraging to see other men pull people up on their comments, it means I don’t have to be the nagging person in the channel and I honestly do think they think twice before making another comment after being pulled up by their peers!

Maybe it comes down from having ‘safe’ channels in Ubuntu that we are spoilt by having this experience, when it really should just be the ‘norm’!

2 Responses »

  1. (Note: I’m a man)

    > “and I honestly do think they think twice before making another comment after being pulled up by their peers!”

    I’m not sure about that.

    There’s this guy coming regularly in one channel I’m in.

    I’ve already told him several times that his remarks about women are not appropriate, and even though I can’t tell him what to think, I would like him to just not say it in this channel, but he just goes on. (the channel is old, we don’t know any more who are the operators there, which doesn’t help)

    Once he told me it was alright, because we were between dudes.

    When I told him he couldn’t know the gender of the people in the channel, his answer was that “girls aren’t interested in computers, so of course there aren’t any here!” Sigh… -_-

    Anyway, the point is that some people just seem to not understand, even after having been pulled up by their peers.

    Yesterday, that guy started talking about his “damn wife”, and how she is “retarded”. (Yes, I’m quoting his words). And he just didn’t see how that was inappropriate.

    I’m not sure there’s any way to get people like that to understand anything, short of banning them completely. (did I mention nobody has the admin rights in the channel? aaaaand we’re back to square one)

    Perhaps that’s the solution, when somebody just won’t get it, throw them away.

    It’s a terrible solution though, because it means that to avoid making some people feel unwelcome, you have to tell others they are not welcome. :(

    I’m happy that women at least have a few safe harbours in the Ubuntu-related channels. If anything it shows we (men) aren’t all pigs and some of us know how to behave (or at least try).

    I wish we had more of these men in more channels, though…

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